|Grief and Miscarriage|
What ever the type or timing of your miscarriage, we know for sure that there is some kind of emotional consequences. We often think that if the pregnancy didn’t last very long, that the grief will be less. The opposite can be true. A loss is a loss, however long the attachment. The way we cope with this can also vary from person to person.
Another really tough area, is mourning the physical loss. When we miscarry, particularly early in the pregnancy, there may be no physical remains to deal with. This them makes the concept of “saying goodbye” very hard. We may want to consider other alternatives when the time feels right.
If the loss is later in the pregnancy and the child looks like a small baby, what can we do then? Not all centres offer the care that is required to deal with this kind of loss.
What is important is that we recognise our bond and celebrate what we did have, even though it has gone physically. Many families remember their child on a special day every year. It doesn’t have to be the anniversary of the miscarriage, but another date.
Grief is a normal part of any loss and is a vital element on pregnancy loss recovery. Unresolved grief contributes to an increase in the risk of depression and anxiety. Many women feel responsible for not being able to prevent the child’s death. Remember there is always a physical and hormonal fall out after a miscarriage. See our resources page.
As outlined in the Walk With Jude Programme, getting pregnant changes our lives forever. We all have overwhelming and intense emotions, as we learn to cope with the loss of our baby.
Each member of the family can feel the loss in different ways and at different times. All of this is very normal, we all grieve at a different pace.
Grief can be exhausting and saps our energy every day. The intense feelings of grief do change and some days will be better than others.
The five stages of grief described by Elisabeth Kubler Ross are,
Kubler Ross feels that the five stages of grief can be applied to any personal situation. The five stages can often be felt in a different order and all at the same time, on the same day. Which often makes us feel crazy? Click here for our resources page to Elizabeth Kubler Ross webpage.