My name is Judith, in February 2010 I was presented with an opportunity to change my life and give back. It was 13 years since I had my first of 4 miscarriages and still I felt a failure for not being able to do what I thought millions of women do easily every year- have a child.

 In January 2002 I finally had Jade my only child. It was a tough pregnancy with some bleeding, an amniocentesis and being stuck at the Toronto Pearson airport when the World Trade Centre was destroyed. My employer had no idea that I was pregnant, so I could only share my fears with my closest friend, Tamara. Jade was born 5 weeks early and stayed in a neonatal unit for one week. During that week my emotions (somewhat driven by hormones) went from elation to all consuming fear. I have to admit that fear prevented me from completely bonding with Jade for some time. I was basically afraid of losing her. Life had taught me that I would likely lose anything I truly valued.

During the last 13 years I have never really resolved any of the emotions I have about losing 4 pregnancies and also the trauma of having Jade. What I have found is that sharing my emotions and feelings with a trusted friend does help, even if they have not miscarried. I also have developed a relationship with a higher power of my understanding. So when that fear becomes too much, I have somewhere to turn.

I discovered that there is very little support for women and their families, who have experienced this kind of loss. So I decided to attempt to provide that service myself. I qualified as a Registered Nurse in the UK and spent 17 years in the pharmaceutical industry. So I do understand the medical aspects of miscarriage.

What I have found is that there are many women around me that have completely unresolved feelings about their loss and would love to have a place to share and hear some courage, strength and hope, hence Walk with Jude Inc. Saint Jude is the patron saint of hopeless situations. I couldn’t think of anything more fitting!

Finally, I want to acknowledge the support of 3 very special women. Christine M, Dawn W and Tamara F. None of these women have experienced a miscarriage, but have been able to offer me unconditional love and support. Love you girls!